Lin & Tom’s Story

Tom was a passionate advocate for human rights, dedicating much of his life to Amnesty International UK. He served on the board, taking on roles as Chair and Vice Chair, and was deeply committed to helping others.

Tom Hedley - partner of Lin and Filo client

He had a keen interest in politics and sports and thrived in social environments. But, during the COVID-19 lockdown, his partner of 35 years, Lin, began to notice the early signs of dementia.

Having experienced dementia with her father, Lin recognised the changes in Tom—his increasing reluctance to be alone and his struggle with isolation. As a naturally sociable person who favoured in-person meetings over communicating virtually, the loss of face-to-face interactions took its toll.

Lin reached out to The Filo Project, and their area coordinator, Sue, visited to find a suitable group for Tom. That’s when they met Lorraine, who became Tom’s host.

“We totally lucked out with Lorraine, it was amazing. From the first moment that we met her, she just got Tom, she got his sense of humour, she got where he was coming from.”

Though Tom was initially hesitant to join The Filo Project, Lin discovered that calling it a 'meeting' encouraged him to go, as meetings had been a constant in his life. Attending his Filo group became the highlight of his week.

“He didn't really say very much or take part {in a Filo day}, but when he'd come home, he'd tell me what a brilliant time he’d had, so although he wasn't maybe contributing in his head, he'd been to a meeting, and he thought it was wonderful.”

Lorraine tailored activities to his interests—on Burns Night, she organised a Scottish-themed day in honour of Tom’s heritage, complete with a Burns Supper. He also connected with another group member, who shared a similar background in the civil service and a love of sports.

For Lin, Tom’s Filo day was a source of reassurance where she knew Tom was safe, and an opportunity to take time for herself. 

Tom & Lin

“I'd have six hours where I could go walk the coast path or the beach, do a bit of shopping, or just come back home and have half an hour to sit with a cup of coffee without rushing about.”

As Tom’s dementia progressed, he was also diagnosed with cancer. The last four or five months of his life were especially challenging, but The Filo Project remained a consistent source of joy for him and gave Lin some much-needed time to recharge.

Tom passed away in November at the age of 75. The grief is still raw for Lin, and everyday moments can bring unexpected waves of emotion. However, Lin remains open to speaking with anyone considering The Filo Project, knowing how valuable it was for Tom—and for her.